Sitting. Waiting. Wishing.

I've been hibernating over the past 20+ days. I'd like to say its for productive reasons, but really, its because I've been sleeping so much. Even now, when I'm finally home on Maternity Leave, 3 hour naps in the middle of the day are becoming commonplace and seriously cutting into the nesting duties. But with all the general STUFF going on that happens when you're incubating life while trying to juggle the lives of those around you, I'm starting to think the sleep might be the best preparation there is at the moment.

That and it lessens the time I'm conciously agonizing over wanting this baby OUT already. Patience is a virtue I was never gifted with. ;-)

"The world accomodating my child is the only sensible option"

Mompetition is one of the best blogs ever! Unless you don't like satire. Then don't bother clicking on the video below.



Sometimes its more fun to make fun of yourself.

Candyland

Its during the months of October through December that my husband and I rehash our plan of relocating to Canada. It always comes up in passing, but we actually semi-seriously consider it at this point in the year.

Why would we consider defecting to another country you ask? Easy. Besides knowing some great people there, Canada also has great food allergy policies for making their candy in facilities free of cross contamination. Just look at the back of this Canadian Kit Kat.


Besides the ingredient translation in French instead of Spanish, do you notice that there is no warning about the item being made in a facility that processes peanuts or tree nuts? That's because they aren't. They're made in a dedicated nut free facility. What a shame the US doesn't have more of those!

So any candy that comes into our house gets divided into piles of the following; pure evil, okay for consumption by family members, and Scootch safe.


Pure evil means it contains nuts or peanut butter, and noone can eat it around Scootch. Even if they're willing to abide by the 5 hour rule of avoiding contact with Scootch and any of his eating utensils and glasses until the aforementioned time limit is passed to be assured the nut traces can't be transferred, there is still the risk of dropped nut pieces, or the danger of him coming in contact with the wrapper, etc. Just too much to worry about, so its easier to just plain ban it from the house. The second category of candy is free from nut ingredients, but is usually processed in a facility that has a problem with cross contamination. That means Scootch shouldn't eat it, but if other family members do, he shouldn't be in danger of accidentally being exposed to any allergens. The third category of candy is my favorite. This is the stuff we can leave out and not freak about when he decides to sneak out of bed in the morning and pilfer it from the pantry himself. Unfortuantely almost all of it has to be shipped to the house since noone carries Canadian Nestle or Vermont Nut Free chocolate in their stores. I mean, only one Shoprite out of the 4 in our area carry Sunbutter on their shelves. I think it would take a miracle to get allergy-free candy mainstreamed into the consumer marketplace.

So back to our relocation discussion. I go to bed and dream of living in a country where nut and egg free baked goods are sold in the bakery section of the supermarket. Where you can pick up a candy bar in the checkout aisle and it be free of cross contamination. Where allergy friendly ice cream cakes are available everywhere instead of just the local ice cream shop. I dream of all that happening here since I know we probably will never find the guts or the money to make such a move happen.

Who knows. Maybe Scootch will grow up and make it happen here.

Help Through Hindsight

"Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith." ~Author Unknown

I was sitting at home the night of Halloween transferring the day's pictures to the computer from my camera, when I clicked back to the photo album containing pictures of Halloween 4 years ago.

Four years ago we had one little pumpkin,

This Halloween we have two pumpkins and one growing in the patch!



It was sad, exhilarating, and stressful, all in the same moment. I'm so glad that you learn to multi-task as a parent, (even if you're just multi-tasking your feelings) because, I have a confession. I feel so vulnerable and uncertain at this point about the future and what it holds for all of us as a family. Just so much is going on, and its gone from a daily struggle to fight the depression to an hourly one. Between the financial problems we still lack an answer to, the logistics of getting the house renovations finished before this kid gets here, and the physical needs that need to be medically attended to with each of us, I feel like I can't breathe from all the stress over unanswerable questions.

And in that moment where I was looking at that first photo, I caught myself wishing back for the past. Yearning for the time when it was just one child to worry about. When it seemed like the world was opening up with possibilities instead of closing in on me. When I felt feelings of peace and joy on a daily basis without having to reach for them. And I had to stop myself. I know I'm not through with this journey, but so far, if anything, it has taught me that the past is not the answer, but rather a clue as to how I need to refocus on the future. So I'm looking ahead and trying to see the light on the other end of the tunnel. I'm really, really, REALLY, hoping and praying that somehow this will all work out. That this family will thrive and grow despite the changes coming.

Basically, I'm hoping for a deliverance of multiple kinds before the year is through.

Proving Ground

"All the so-called 'secrets of success' will not work unless you do." ~Author Unknown

Validation that its not my baking skills that are faulty, but the recipes I'm using, came this month. October became a baking marathon between Monkey's birthday and the Halloween class parties at their school. Here are the photos submitted for evidence;

Class party birthday cupcakes:
Recipe used from Cybele Pascal's Allergen-Free Baker's Handbook

Result: WIN!
I even got a round of applause from her class just for showing up with a bakery box in the morning. What an ego boost! ;-)

Family party princess cake:
Recipe used from an adapted old butter cake recipe that I loved

Result: FAIL!

Miss Birthday Princess' skirt didn't rise enough, so I had to stake her torso in a paper cup and wedge it into the cake middle so she'd stand up straight. (And then camoflauge everything with icing!!)
Monkey didn't mind, though ;-)

Birthday party Dora cupcakes:
Recipe used from Cybele Pascal's Allergen-Free Baker's Handbook and NickJr.com

Result: WIN!
Unless you count the epic fail that were the directions on NickJr's website for decorating these suckers. Just a note for anyone who wants to attempt them - do not believe it when they say "70 minute prep time." Took me 3 hours! :-P

Halloween class party mini cupcakes with spiced pumpkin cream cheese frosting:
Recipe used from Cybele Pascal's Allergen-Free Baker's Handbook (and I just made up the icing)

Result: WIN!

And some of the best parts about having so many baking successes is Scootch's eyes lighting up when he sees a tray of cupcakes cooling on the counter and asks, "Mine cupcakes?"
Absolutely, kiddo. All of it for you.

Foodie Post

So I've had a few successes to bolster my baking self esteem. I made the Blueberry Boy Bait coffee cake courtesy of Cybele Pascal's The Allergen-Free Bakers Handbook, and then I dabbled with a recipe my MIL found on Oprah (of all places) by Alicia Silverstone for Oatmeal, Walnut, and Dried Plum Cookies, (of which we, of course, omitted a few nut ingredients).
The blueberry coffee cake was met with rave reviews, and I only had the slight problem of the cinnamon/sugar dusting not carmelizing on the top. (And no, I don't own a creme brulee torch to recitfy the problem easily). Needless to say, the fact that the topping wasn't as pictured in the book did little to dissuade anyone from eating it. It was gone in 4 days!

Yum!

Now onto the cookies. I just want to apologize in advance to my mother, since her oatmeal cookies have been my favorite since I was old enough to eat one. (Sorry Mom. You just got booted by Alicia Silverstone.) And of course, the fact that Scootch can enjoy them because they are a vegan recipe adds triple bonus points. Although, to be truthful to any vegans reading my blog, I did cheat and put butter in this since I don't own the prescribed safflower oil and would have no idea where to procure any if I wanted to. And that was only one of the tweaks this recipe underwent. (So if anyone wants the recipe as modified, feel free to email me!)


Anyways, just so you're fore-warned, these cookies should come with a warning label. I think the cookie dough was just as good (if not better) than the baked product. When I snuck some of the mixed wet ingredients off my finger I swear it was like eating liquid butterscotch, and the addition of the dry ingredients didn't diminish that particular deliciousness any. And what I love about them is that they don't suffer from preservative free-syndrome. You know where you bake all those cookies and they turn crispy and rock hard after a day no matter how you store them? Yeah, I hate that. Especially in oatmeal cookies. They shouldn't be something you'd give your kid to cut their baby teeth on. Although you could, because since they have oatmeal in them, they're healthy cookies, right? (I hope so since I ate them for breakfast) ;-)


So my next projects are cakes and cupcakes, since the Monkey's birthday is in a week. I need to make a cake for our home party that we have with family, and then cupcakes for her kiddie party at what my kids affectionately refer to as "Old McDonalds." I'll try to make sure to keep you posted with the successes of those! :-)

Disease

This might seem like a cop-out, but I think this guy's post is so perfect I don't even need to do anything but send you people over to read it yourselves.

In light of the tragedy surrounding Tyler Clementi, the desperation of Phoebe Prince, and all the others we've heard of in the past year or two that have felt such desperation that death seemed the only good option, I really think we need to stop putting the blame on the bullying, and the drugs, and the nature vs. nurture debate, and admit that there is something going on underneath that is creating the need for these scapegoats in the first place. This disease that has put responsibility and accountability to the back of the line instead of the forefront or our lives and ways of living.
Kudos to you, Dan, for calling us all out on it.