Scenic Overlook

You can tell there is a newborn in the house. The piles of overflowing laundry. Random diapers strewn across a variety of surfaces. The Itzbeen timer constantly in company with the phone and television remote. And with having a newborn again, I feel my perspective is constanly changing and being renewed. The 2 year old baby boy I cuddled the night I went into labor, morphed into a lean articulate little man the day I came home and had him up on the changing table after his little brother.

I keep discovering that it is the smallest things that are the biggest markers of my life right now. As much as I didn't seem to recognize how far removed we actually were from having a "baby" in the family before Little Bear got here, now that he's here, its the accessories of this renewed way of life that are the largest markers of how far Scootch has grown beyond it. And how the time really has flown by.

Today my project was cleaning out the cabinet to make room for the bottles. I really switched out one type of bottle for another. I packed away all of Scootch's Nuby cups, which he really hasn't used in almost a year, to put up the Playtex Drop Ins for Little Bear. It really made me pause as I was rifling through the various rings and nipples and caps. As much as I record milestones, I don't know if there really is such a thing as the record of the "day" your son or daughter stopped doing something. Stopped nursing in favor of regular milk before bedtime. Stopped eating baby food in favor of table food. Stopped using a baby bottle in favor of a soft spout. Or finally stopped using a soft spout because s/he could be trusted with a regular cup. I think that's why there are still jars of baby food and puffs in the pantry, and I'm just now packing away all the soft spout Nuby's. The first night it could be a fluke, the second night you're giving it a week, and by weeks end, you've already adapted so well to the change that it probably doesn't occur to you that something significant has just happened. And now is the time I should be making promises to remember this with Little Bear, since this is my third and final chance to savor the journey. But I don't want to lie. The reality is that this is my THIRD. And I'm sure it will be even harder just to remember to jot down all the firsts, nevermind remembering the lasts.

But tonight, I am remembering. I'm holding Little Bear, and remembering when I was holding Monkey, or holding Scootch. I'm comparing their faces and hands and hair in my memory. And I'm trying to remember that even though life is a journey, there were certain points of interest I wanted to visit along the way. Even if to only snap a picture.

Arrivals

Our very own Little Bear has finally decided to come out of hibernation. On Tuesday, December 14th, nine days past his appointed due date, we were finally able to come face to face with our newest bundle of joy. Little Bear weighed 8lbs 14oz, and measured 21.75 inches long. Monkey and Scootch are overjoyed to add him to the family. We are so very blessed.

Sitting. Waiting. Wishing.

I've been hibernating over the past 20+ days. I'd like to say its for productive reasons, but really, its because I've been sleeping so much. Even now, when I'm finally home on Maternity Leave, 3 hour naps in the middle of the day are becoming commonplace and seriously cutting into the nesting duties. But with all the general STUFF going on that happens when you're incubating life while trying to juggle the lives of those around you, I'm starting to think the sleep might be the best preparation there is at the moment.

That and it lessens the time I'm conciously agonizing over wanting this baby OUT already. Patience is a virtue I was never gifted with. ;-)

"The world accomodating my child is the only sensible option"

Mompetition is one of the best blogs ever! Unless you don't like satire. Then don't bother clicking on the video below.



Sometimes its more fun to make fun of yourself.

Candyland

Its during the months of October through December that my husband and I rehash our plan of relocating to Canada. It always comes up in passing, but we actually semi-seriously consider it at this point in the year.

Why would we consider defecting to another country you ask? Easy. Besides knowing some great people there, Canada also has great food allergy policies for making their candy in facilities free of cross contamination. Just look at the back of this Canadian Kit Kat.


Besides the ingredient translation in French instead of Spanish, do you notice that there is no warning about the item being made in a facility that processes peanuts or tree nuts? That's because they aren't. They're made in a dedicated nut free facility. What a shame the US doesn't have more of those!

So any candy that comes into our house gets divided into piles of the following; pure evil, okay for consumption by family members, and Scootch safe.


Pure evil means it contains nuts or peanut butter, and noone can eat it around Scootch. Even if they're willing to abide by the 5 hour rule of avoiding contact with Scootch and any of his eating utensils and glasses until the aforementioned time limit is passed to be assured the nut traces can't be transferred, there is still the risk of dropped nut pieces, or the danger of him coming in contact with the wrapper, etc. Just too much to worry about, so its easier to just plain ban it from the house. The second category of candy is free from nut ingredients, but is usually processed in a facility that has a problem with cross contamination. That means Scootch shouldn't eat it, but if other family members do, he shouldn't be in danger of accidentally being exposed to any allergens. The third category of candy is my favorite. This is the stuff we can leave out and not freak about when he decides to sneak out of bed in the morning and pilfer it from the pantry himself. Unfortuantely almost all of it has to be shipped to the house since noone carries Canadian Nestle or Vermont Nut Free chocolate in their stores. I mean, only one Shoprite out of the 4 in our area carry Sunbutter on their shelves. I think it would take a miracle to get allergy-free candy mainstreamed into the consumer marketplace.

So back to our relocation discussion. I go to bed and dream of living in a country where nut and egg free baked goods are sold in the bakery section of the supermarket. Where you can pick up a candy bar in the checkout aisle and it be free of cross contamination. Where allergy friendly ice cream cakes are available everywhere instead of just the local ice cream shop. I dream of all that happening here since I know we probably will never find the guts or the money to make such a move happen.

Who knows. Maybe Scootch will grow up and make it happen here.

Help Through Hindsight

"Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith." ~Author Unknown

I was sitting at home the night of Halloween transferring the day's pictures to the computer from my camera, when I clicked back to the photo album containing pictures of Halloween 4 years ago.

Four years ago we had one little pumpkin,

This Halloween we have two pumpkins and one growing in the patch!



It was sad, exhilarating, and stressful, all in the same moment. I'm so glad that you learn to multi-task as a parent, (even if you're just multi-tasking your feelings) because, I have a confession. I feel so vulnerable and uncertain at this point about the future and what it holds for all of us as a family. Just so much is going on, and its gone from a daily struggle to fight the depression to an hourly one. Between the financial problems we still lack an answer to, the logistics of getting the house renovations finished before this kid gets here, and the physical needs that need to be medically attended to with each of us, I feel like I can't breathe from all the stress over unanswerable questions.

And in that moment where I was looking at that first photo, I caught myself wishing back for the past. Yearning for the time when it was just one child to worry about. When it seemed like the world was opening up with possibilities instead of closing in on me. When I felt feelings of peace and joy on a daily basis without having to reach for them. And I had to stop myself. I know I'm not through with this journey, but so far, if anything, it has taught me that the past is not the answer, but rather a clue as to how I need to refocus on the future. So I'm looking ahead and trying to see the light on the other end of the tunnel. I'm really, really, REALLY, hoping and praying that somehow this will all work out. That this family will thrive and grow despite the changes coming.

Basically, I'm hoping for a deliverance of multiple kinds before the year is through.

Proving Ground

"All the so-called 'secrets of success' will not work unless you do." ~Author Unknown

Validation that its not my baking skills that are faulty, but the recipes I'm using, came this month. October became a baking marathon between Monkey's birthday and the Halloween class parties at their school. Here are the photos submitted for evidence;

Class party birthday cupcakes:
Recipe used from Cybele Pascal's Allergen-Free Baker's Handbook

Result: WIN!
I even got a round of applause from her class just for showing up with a bakery box in the morning. What an ego boost! ;-)

Family party princess cake:
Recipe used from an adapted old butter cake recipe that I loved

Result: FAIL!

Miss Birthday Princess' skirt didn't rise enough, so I had to stake her torso in a paper cup and wedge it into the cake middle so she'd stand up straight. (And then camoflauge everything with icing!!)
Monkey didn't mind, though ;-)

Birthday party Dora cupcakes:
Recipe used from Cybele Pascal's Allergen-Free Baker's Handbook and NickJr.com

Result: WIN!
Unless you count the epic fail that were the directions on NickJr's website for decorating these suckers. Just a note for anyone who wants to attempt them - do not believe it when they say "70 minute prep time." Took me 3 hours! :-P

Halloween class party mini cupcakes with spiced pumpkin cream cheese frosting:
Recipe used from Cybele Pascal's Allergen-Free Baker's Handbook (and I just made up the icing)

Result: WIN!

And some of the best parts about having so many baking successes is Scootch's eyes lighting up when he sees a tray of cupcakes cooling on the counter and asks, "Mine cupcakes?"
Absolutely, kiddo. All of it for you.